How do I share my feelings without my partner getting defensive?
How do I stop feeling so much anger, resentment, and frustration?
Why can't we seem to ever feel close? It's like everything we do is a trigger.
And so much more...
let's be real.
hello there.
I get scared that the closest people to me don't love me; scared that they love who they wish I was a whole lot more. I'm scared that intimacy in this body will prove how unsexy and broken I am.
I'm embarrassed that I don't often juggle it all with a smile. I'm embarrassed that my husband has more energy than me. I'm embarrassed that I let people hurt my feelings.
I often expect people to react to me the way I would and get disappointed when they don't, even though I know I should be curious about why they acted the way they did instead.
I need to rest, to feel seen, to feel heard, to be held, and to be taken care of sometimes. And, that makes me feel weak, which is the scariest thing to be for me.
You just read a few of my answers to the SEEN questions.
S - What am I scared of?
E - What am I embarrassed about?
E - What (probably unknown) expectations did I have of myself
& of the other person?
N - What do I need in order to take care of myself & this relationship?
For my husband and I, answering these questions when we are most confident that the other person is at fault opened the door to healing together instead of creating more hurt. This was especially true when we looked at what our childhoods taught us to feel, fear, and believe. It empowered us to start breaking the cycles that break our hearts. So, I began doing it with my clients too, and the results were profound. Witnessing my clients heal decades-old traumas through this work has been the greatest honor of my life.
The world is better because of people brave enough to try to be curious about themselves, each other, the work, and love. If you're reading this, you're probably one of those people. Thank you for being here.
hype woman, writer, Creator, & relationship Coach